your abyss (a poem, published on the new moon, for creatures who will never see the moon)

(it ends with disfiguration)

For all those who’ve been othered. Made to feel deviant.

For all those at odds with hegemony. Suffering at the hands of empire.

For the abyssal creatures.

left to right, top down: pacific blackdragon, peacock squid, barreleye, frilled jelly, black-eyed squid, psychedelic jelly, pacific viperfish, feather star, and a rattail fish. Stills from MBARI ROV footage. I learned about these friends in a reflection by Stacy Alaimo for alchemize.

your abyss

We thought it was empty.

Could not imagine
flourishing
in lightless deep,
in edgeless crush.
thought we'd stare
into the void,
and it would stare back

and nod:

yes, humans,
it's all for you.
the whole thing.
this whole speck
in a sunbeam;
this whole droplet
in the ocean of time,
and so then the whole
speck,
    sunbeam,
        sun;
droplet,
    ocean,
        cosmos:
for you.
Organized around your experience,
pitched toward your preference,
groveling before your empire,
plattered for your appetite,
laddered toward your ego,
centered on your needs—
this planet, universe,
were destined, even
designed for
you.

When we finally looked we found
our planet's largest biome.
Life's most exuberant expression,
it's most realized chaos.
We found y'all.
Our lost kin.

Or are we lost?
Trapped so long on a surface,
we've forgotten how to live with no edge.
Trapped so long with this harsh light
we've forgotten a world where the only glow is fellow beings.
Trapped so long, precessing in two dimensions,
we've forgotten how to radiate.
How to sink.



                                              Take
                                        me
                               into
                      your
            abyss.

                                           Teach 
                                      me 
                               how 
                          to
                 hold 
           my 
breath.

                                                     t
                                              Spli
                                      my 
                            neck
                           to 
                   grow
               my 
       gills
;
       soft
               my
                    bones
                             and
                             web
                                      my
                                             limbs
                                                       ,
         teach me
 your
         c e 
gr a         f  ul
                      u n           l a        o n
                              d u         t i           ;


               how to 

                       balloon 

                                 to balance


                                 depth.



                       Swell my eyes    ,
                       that I might see ;

       translate your glimmer
       spark        and shimmer.

Adorn me 
      with feathers 
to feel
        the current,

sap my pigment, 
                            make me translucent

and train one organ        (
                                           my 
                                           heart, 
                                           perhaps
                                           )
to glow.